November 22, 2006

I am not the understand the English :(.

Egzactly....!!

To someone like me whose inhibitions towards bollywood movies are more or less governed by the opportunity to watch them, what I have written above would definitely make (non)sense and unveil the context. For others there is this post. To begin with, this is yet again the same time of the year when India witnesses an educational turmoil in form of an examination which perhaps would be and remain an imagination for the rest of the world. I Imagine a satellite picture of more than two hundred thousand peoples giving a test at various corners of the country . Yes am talking about the CAT which was back last weekend and just like the festival of Diwali it left the smoke and thundering sounds as its aftermath. The only difference between the two - the proportion of those encashing happiness and those left somewhat burned and blistered. And the bomb which ripped apart everyone was the legacy of our 200 years of freedom struggle - The English language. or more technically the 'verbal' section in the jargon of MBA blues.

I have had an interesting rapport with 'English' ever since the first day of my school. That of unnerving each other. I wasn't built to learn it. If there is something of which I have remained paranoiac all through my life, the answer would come out in a jiffy - English. Somehow I have never been able to make it up to the required levels of English. I hated English as a child. I hated learning the words which looked alien to my mind. I hated making a separate notebook for grammar all through my school days. I somehow remained disjoint from the whole class when it came to English. My second lowest marks would be in English subject (the lowest being in the social science - I luv to hate this subject till this very day ). My library book would travel along in my bag to home, remain untouched for the whole week and then back again to library on the day of the return. The only time I managed to lead in English for a quarter of year, I was almost about to flunk in one or the other subjects. In short English never became my cup of tea.

And in turn English would put me in the background of activities. Devoid me of any deserving limelight. Give me a taste of my incompetency and make me hate it more and more. Nevertheless in recent past ( i.e. the last two years) I have to my surprise been attracted towards English. I have pulled up my self to appreciate the beauty and potency of this language. I have learned to how to take a stand like a connoisseur when it comes to English in all its various forms ( except for the poetry which I still feel is something highly subjective and the subtlety of which can be understood by its writer, and sometime even he/she cannot). The rivalry however still continues to this day. :((

I have invested quantum of time contemplating why is it that English plays a vital role in all my setbacks, and then like a spark of nirvana it occurred to me that perhaps I am here to redefine (???? OK...refine) the standards of English, and be known more as a legendary figure of English language rather than of any programming language. But that may take all together a new incarnation to accomplish. And untill then perhaps the powers that be - would make me struggle again for this new independence I seek from the paranoia of not being an 'anglo-indian'.

1 comment:

cp said...

yes buddy.. go ahead n redefine/refine or whatever u want to do with this sucking language..i m with u:)..guptazee ko bhi saath le lenge..